There's absolutely nothing worse than having someone politely tell u, that despite what u thought, your shit does indeed stink. If that doesn't send u thru a period of self realization, nothing else will. It made me realize, among other things, that my intentions as well as my actions are clandestine to everyone else except me. Admittedly, I try to keep things where I can control them, but from my perspective, I've always kept my motives and my actions pretty clear. Or so I thought until now. I've been made aware that only I know what I'm thinking and where I'm going...regardless of my intent to include others. This realization left me speechless and it took someone to look me in the eye and blatantly express to me what I thought was a gross misunderstaning. However in their eyes, it was clear that I was going left, where in my eyes, I'm going right. If the perception is so askew from reality, I have to take the responsibility upon myself and change it. So, this phase of my life is called..."Transparent". Not in the sense that people can see thru me, but rather getting to a point where people aren't hoodwinked with respect to my intentions. I no longer will strive to keep everything on a need to know basis in hopes that I will be understood at a greater level. I know what I'm doing and where I'm going and what my intentions are.moving forward, my goal is for u 2 know as well.(As it pertains to u)
Becomming Transparent!
As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for following my blog. Stay tuned!
Peace,
Ramont
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Facebook Epiphany
Today I finally just took about an hour of my day to navigate facebook. Everyone tells me how "fun" it is and that i'll get addicted to it. Well, after about 30 mins, i determined that not only will i not get hooked, but also why i'm one of the last people on earth to sign up. Because to enjoy facebook, two things have to be somewhat true: 1. you have to have an interest in what other people are doing and 2. you are comfortable with people knowing what you are doing. It dawned on me that neither was true for me. I really didn't care what people were doing or thinking, nor did i want to share what i was doing or thinking. i think anyone who knows me can agree that i'm pretty consistent with that. (no applause)
but then, the last 30 mins, something happened that gave me an epiphany or at least some self realization. as i looked at people's photos i began to smile because i was happy that some of my old associates/friends had gotten married, had children, bought homes and had done some amazing things that they were proud of. then a sadness came over me. i looked at my profile and it hit me....if pictures are worth a thousand words, my picture says....NOTHING. everyone else has hundreds of photos of themselves, at parties, with friends, families, etc...or just silly little pictures with a camera phone. those pictures say, "fulfilled, happy, funny, love, parenthood, wild, LIFE".
i realized that i have one photo...where i am not smiling, as usual...stalephacing the camera. i can recall thinking, "take the damn picture" when i took it. but more so was the lack of photos, which is to say that i don't have any party pics, friend pics, fulfilled pics, funny, loving, parenthood or wild pics. NOTHING. i'm there on my island like as i so often feel. i got sad because it was then that i realized how isolated i've become and how much LIFE i've let pass me by trying to conquer mount Everest in a day. i joke with people that i'm an "island of self"...but there's so much truth in a joke. and quite honestly, its not a joke anymore. its all truth. i work alone in my home office. i go running alone...just me and my headphones. i eat alone, most times at a bar or restaurant watching espn. i can go places with a group..and i'll drive alone because i want to leave when i'm ready. i'm joking, but quite honestly, if i died in my apartment, it would probably take a few weeks before anyone knew about it cuz only a handful of people even know where i live.
A friend of mine told me once, "you deal with people when you get ready. you call when u want to. but if u don't want to, people don't hear from you for months." that just hit home right now because its true. i've spent so much time trying to accomplish my individual goals that i've closed everything and everyone off and pushed them far away. not intentionally, but that's the reality of it. Can a person have so much focus that he looses sight of what's really important? If family, friends and fun are important to successful life..i'd consider my life a bust. I see my parents once a year...and even then i bitch about buying a plane ticket. and really, my mother has to talk me into each year. Of all of my accomplishments, there are not many people who are aware of them nor have I involved anyone in my success. I just put it to the side and move on to the next project. What's the use of finding success if no one is there to share it with you? That question is really swirling around in my head right now. Sadly, i'm approaching my 34th birthday with no plans to celebrate. I recently had a 3 year anniversary for my Salon and didn't even tell anyone, nor did i even pat myself on the back. I bought my first house...didn't tell anyone, didn't take any pictures. I published a book...not a word. Just moved on to the next mountain.
Looking at facebook made me realize all of these things and i'll tell you, it made me quite sad. It made me wonder what did i experience that made me this way...to where i just shut the world out and used it only as i needed it, with no reciprocity. i've become so guarded with my personality and image that i let people see only what i want them to see and it keeps everything at a distance.
This next phase of my life is called, "Happiness". Time to crack the window and let the world in.
but then, the last 30 mins, something happened that gave me an epiphany or at least some self realization. as i looked at people's photos i began to smile because i was happy that some of my old associates/friends had gotten married, had children, bought homes and had done some amazing things that they were proud of. then a sadness came over me. i looked at my profile and it hit me....if pictures are worth a thousand words, my picture says....NOTHING. everyone else has hundreds of photos of themselves, at parties, with friends, families, etc...or just silly little pictures with a camera phone. those pictures say, "fulfilled, happy, funny, love, parenthood, wild, LIFE".
i realized that i have one photo...where i am not smiling, as usual...stalephacing the camera. i can recall thinking, "take the damn picture" when i took it. but more so was the lack of photos, which is to say that i don't have any party pics, friend pics, fulfilled pics, funny, loving, parenthood or wild pics. NOTHING. i'm there on my island like as i so often feel. i got sad because it was then that i realized how isolated i've become and how much LIFE i've let pass me by trying to conquer mount Everest in a day. i joke with people that i'm an "island of self"...but there's so much truth in a joke. and quite honestly, its not a joke anymore. its all truth. i work alone in my home office. i go running alone...just me and my headphones. i eat alone, most times at a bar or restaurant watching espn. i can go places with a group..and i'll drive alone because i want to leave when i'm ready. i'm joking, but quite honestly, if i died in my apartment, it would probably take a few weeks before anyone knew about it cuz only a handful of people even know where i live.
A friend of mine told me once, "you deal with people when you get ready. you call when u want to. but if u don't want to, people don't hear from you for months." that just hit home right now because its true. i've spent so much time trying to accomplish my individual goals that i've closed everything and everyone off and pushed them far away. not intentionally, but that's the reality of it. Can a person have so much focus that he looses sight of what's really important? If family, friends and fun are important to successful life..i'd consider my life a bust. I see my parents once a year...and even then i bitch about buying a plane ticket. and really, my mother has to talk me into each year. Of all of my accomplishments, there are not many people who are aware of them nor have I involved anyone in my success. I just put it to the side and move on to the next project. What's the use of finding success if no one is there to share it with you? That question is really swirling around in my head right now. Sadly, i'm approaching my 34th birthday with no plans to celebrate. I recently had a 3 year anniversary for my Salon and didn't even tell anyone, nor did i even pat myself on the back. I bought my first house...didn't tell anyone, didn't take any pictures. I published a book...not a word. Just moved on to the next mountain.
Looking at facebook made me realize all of these things and i'll tell you, it made me quite sad. It made me wonder what did i experience that made me this way...to where i just shut the world out and used it only as i needed it, with no reciprocity. i've become so guarded with my personality and image that i let people see only what i want them to see and it keeps everything at a distance.
This next phase of my life is called, "Happiness". Time to crack the window and let the world in.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!
Man, it's been a minute since i've blogged,sheesh! and it hasn't been because i haven't had anything to talk about, but rather i've just been busy as hell trying to do a million things in one lifetime. However, i'd be remist if i didn't take this opportunity, on this day to honor Mother's Day and just to reflect on how important my mother has been to me. Just like every other person who has ever needed a band-aid, some candy, lunch money, jordans...wait, moms NEVER copped me any J's..but i won't put her on blast for the pro-wings.....anyway, just like everyone else who's ever taken for granted all the things that mom has to endure, overcome, sacrifice and bear the burdens of, I am so indebted to my mom for the things that she never gave me. yeah, i said it right. of course, she gave me unconditional love and all the things that a mother without the "how to raise a child" book would give. but the things that she didn't give me really helped me become the man that i am today. She didn't give me any name brand clothes. She used to always say, "i'm not puttin anybody's name on your behind". yo, i thought that was the illest cop out i'd ever heard! she'd be like, "why put someone elses name on your behind. put your own name on your clothes. now, of course i didn't get it at the time, but what that taught me was that i didn't have to dress like everyone else or have the trendy fashions to look nice. and now that i can afford to buy that stuff, i don't. cuz i really don't want to see someone's name all over my clothes! she never bought me shoes when i wanted them, but rather when she felt i needed them. it sucked, but it taught me to take care of what i have because i never know when you'll get something else. to this day, i still clean my forces with bleach and wash my strings. she never gave me credit for things that i was supposed to do. when a lot of kids would get mcdonals for getting A's on their report card or money for doing chores, she'd say, "this is what i expect of you. this is not extra. i'm not rewarding what you are supposed to do". that tought me the value of hard work and how to work with out expecting recongition from anyone else. when i'm working, its because i do what i have to do in order to do what i want to do..not for the pleasure of anyone else. my moms never gave me any sympathy when we didn't have money or food or when our lights went out. instead, she gave me the courage to overcome ANY obstacle in life. she never gave me the opportunity to disrespect her or any other female. before i could even talk, she would say, "if u ever think of hitting me or cursing me, i'll hit u upside your head with this skillet"! and trust me, she repeated that twice a week with the same passion every year until i moved out. there was simply one rule...THIS IS MY HOUSE. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT...LEAVE! that lesson, taught me humility and respect for all women. because as many times as i thoughy my moms was wrong, or what she said may have been ill, or if she deserved a stalephace...i never got out of line with her or any with any other woman out of respect for my mother. she never gave me the chance to be irresponsible or not to be held accountable for my actions. everything i did had a consequence and she made sure that you were aware of that. and when the consequence was bad she'd say, "just own it". that wasn't always easy..and it still isn't. but just owning it keeps me accountable today and if helps me keep others in my life accountable for what they do. moms would always say, "i'm not telling you what to do. i'm telling you what i'm going to do and give you the choice to deal with it or not deal with it." man, to a kid....that was way too much to handle..but it is so profound. she made u think u had a choice, but u really didn't. its like, i'm getting in the car and driving off...but u dont have to. another one of her famous quotes was, "if you gone do it...do it and dont bitch about it, or if you not gone do it, don't do it and don't bitch about it. either way, don't bitch about it." probably the most important thing she never gave me was an excuse! there have been so many things in my life that i know she would do differently, so many things that she wishes she could take back and so many opportunities that i didn't get because of circumstances....but never did she give ONE DAMN EXCUSE for any of the shortcomings that we experiences. those things along with the band-aids, the candy money,the rides to the skating rink and all the things that we think mothers are supposed to do have made me who I am today and i want to say Thank You mom for not giving me so much! Thanks for making me live it, earn it and own it!
To all of the other mothers in my life, i want to say happy mothers day to you. Grandma, Tee, Shirlethia, Nee-Nee, Trecie, Tamika, Lisa, Val, Shiela, Tony, Inez, Joy, Janet, Nita, Grandma Jackson, Faye, Alanna (thank u), Mrs. Rosie, Nita, April, Ashley, Co-Co, Missy, Bettina, Shonda, Shawn, Cynthia, Myriam, Felicia, Carol, Ebony R.(soon to be), Shay, Ashlee Poo...All the women and single mothers who take their son's to get a hair cut.
Happy Mother's Day
Peace,
Ramont.
To all of the other mothers in my life, i want to say happy mothers day to you. Grandma, Tee, Shirlethia, Nee-Nee, Trecie, Tamika, Lisa, Val, Shiela, Tony, Inez, Joy, Janet, Nita, Grandma Jackson, Faye, Alanna (thank u), Mrs. Rosie, Nita, April, Ashley, Co-Co, Missy, Bettina, Shonda, Shawn, Cynthia, Myriam, Felicia, Carol, Ebony R.(soon to be), Shay, Ashlee Poo...All the women and single mothers who take their son's to get a hair cut.
Happy Mother's Day
Peace,
Ramont.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Hunger and Humility
Firstly, before i get to ""hunger and humility", i want to touch base on my last blog, "let's stay together". i got a few hits/phone calls from the female gender, as some misunderstood my interpretation of "submit". now, i acknowledge that i knew that topic and that word specifically would draw a lot of conversation, but i want to make sure that i'm understood.
when i say, the woman must submit...i do not mean, as one of my good friends put it, "ironing a man's draws and cooking his food". nor do i mean, as my mom put it, "taking women back generations" by asking them to be docile, seen and not heard. No, this is not what i meant. I prefaced "women should submit" with "men must live by the word of GOD and carry out his will". what i'm saying is that, i understand that I (as a man) must be spiritually one with GOD and submit to GOD first, before I ask you to submit to me. As GOD spoke to Adam, he also gave him Eve. So of course, if i'm not doing what i need to do, i cannot expect you to. I'm not asking you to iron my draws and cook my food. i'm asking you to recognize that as we are equals, there is one head of household. there is one vision for the family. as one of my stylist put it, a man may drive you nuts and go around the block to accomplish his goals, when you thought he should have gone up the street...but as long as that man is steadfast in living a righteous life and taking the responsibility of taking care of he and his family, it is his partner's job not to display faith in his direction and support his plight. submit, as in...don't think you run shyt! submit as in, uplift him instead of opposing him all the time. submit, as in...you don't really want to change your own filters or carry that couch upstairs, so act like you got some sense.
ok, i'm done with that topic. if you dont feel me now, then we'll just agree to disagree.
now...."hunger and humility".
often i talk to people and they ask me what has lead me to the success i've had thus far in my life. they ask "when do you sleep?" "how do you have time to do so many things?" the same people who ask me about my success support my endeavors because they recognize my sincerity in the honorable projects that i undertake. two reasons why i find success...
hunger and humility.
firstly, my hunger is what continues to drive me to want to achieve more and more, despite having tasted a measure of success already. on Jay-z's Black Album, which in my opinion is one of the top 3 albums of all time...his last song " My last like my first", had a clip of B.I.G talking about how diddy schooled him to the game. B.I.G said, "like my man puff say, treat every album like its your first. he treated every project like he was an intern".
i listened to that song over and over and it became a mantra for me...treat my last like my first. that says, keep the same hunger throughout your career. often we taste success and our bellies become full. we loose the eye of the tiger like rocky balboa did when Mr. T knocked him out cold. we get comfortable in our success. we think we've made it. and as like to say, we get cute! that hunger is what gets us out of the hood. its what drives our creativity to become entrepreneurs. our hunger to upgrade our situation. this continued hunger separates good from great. it will be the reason you advance and the reason you fail. you have to remain hungry. even when things are going well for you...its ok to indulge in the fruits of your labor, but we can't lose the hunger.
the second reason is humility. humility is overlooked and underestimated. when we want people to support our endeavors, we must remain humble. it's not an option. we must first humble ourselves and recognize that without our supporters, even our greatest talents will go unseen or unheard or unnoticed. humility, sometimes more so than talent will help you develop and maintain supporters and followers. Humility is recognizing that when and if we are blessed to taste success, we share the credit to those who helped us. we continue to provide excellent services to those who were there for us as we struggled to get to where we are. in my line of business, i see a lot of people who lack humility. they forget that the same person who gave you their business, can just as easily give it to someone else. we take for granted that the once positive word of mouth, can turn negative and become a dagger in our business. humility is everything in business. it keeps you doing good business and not just trying to make a dollar. hell, i work for a man who in my opinion has no humility. in my opinion, he's forgotten what got him where he is and who supported him in his journey. i vow not to become him. yes, i do plan on growing and becoming even more successful, but i will not lose humility.
Treat your last like your first....STAY HUNGRY.
The same people you see on the way up are the same people you will see on the way down....STAY HUMBLE.
when i say, the woman must submit...i do not mean, as one of my good friends put it, "ironing a man's draws and cooking his food". nor do i mean, as my mom put it, "taking women back generations" by asking them to be docile, seen and not heard. No, this is not what i meant. I prefaced "women should submit" with "men must live by the word of GOD and carry out his will". what i'm saying is that, i understand that I (as a man) must be spiritually one with GOD and submit to GOD first, before I ask you to submit to me. As GOD spoke to Adam, he also gave him Eve. So of course, if i'm not doing what i need to do, i cannot expect you to. I'm not asking you to iron my draws and cook my food. i'm asking you to recognize that as we are equals, there is one head of household. there is one vision for the family. as one of my stylist put it, a man may drive you nuts and go around the block to accomplish his goals, when you thought he should have gone up the street...but as long as that man is steadfast in living a righteous life and taking the responsibility of taking care of he and his family, it is his partner's job not to display faith in his direction and support his plight. submit, as in...don't think you run shyt! submit as in, uplift him instead of opposing him all the time. submit, as in...you don't really want to change your own filters or carry that couch upstairs, so act like you got some sense.
ok, i'm done with that topic. if you dont feel me now, then we'll just agree to disagree.
now...."hunger and humility".
often i talk to people and they ask me what has lead me to the success i've had thus far in my life. they ask "when do you sleep?" "how do you have time to do so many things?" the same people who ask me about my success support my endeavors because they recognize my sincerity in the honorable projects that i undertake. two reasons why i find success...
hunger and humility.
firstly, my hunger is what continues to drive me to want to achieve more and more, despite having tasted a measure of success already. on Jay-z's Black Album, which in my opinion is one of the top 3 albums of all time...his last song " My last like my first", had a clip of B.I.G talking about how diddy schooled him to the game. B.I.G said, "like my man puff say, treat every album like its your first. he treated every project like he was an intern".
i listened to that song over and over and it became a mantra for me...treat my last like my first. that says, keep the same hunger throughout your career. often we taste success and our bellies become full. we loose the eye of the tiger like rocky balboa did when Mr. T knocked him out cold. we get comfortable in our success. we think we've made it. and as like to say, we get cute! that hunger is what gets us out of the hood. its what drives our creativity to become entrepreneurs. our hunger to upgrade our situation. this continued hunger separates good from great. it will be the reason you advance and the reason you fail. you have to remain hungry. even when things are going well for you...its ok to indulge in the fruits of your labor, but we can't lose the hunger.
the second reason is humility. humility is overlooked and underestimated. when we want people to support our endeavors, we must remain humble. it's not an option. we must first humble ourselves and recognize that without our supporters, even our greatest talents will go unseen or unheard or unnoticed. humility, sometimes more so than talent will help you develop and maintain supporters and followers. Humility is recognizing that when and if we are blessed to taste success, we share the credit to those who helped us. we continue to provide excellent services to those who were there for us as we struggled to get to where we are. in my line of business, i see a lot of people who lack humility. they forget that the same person who gave you their business, can just as easily give it to someone else. we take for granted that the once positive word of mouth, can turn negative and become a dagger in our business. humility is everything in business. it keeps you doing good business and not just trying to make a dollar. hell, i work for a man who in my opinion has no humility. in my opinion, he's forgotten what got him where he is and who supported him in his journey. i vow not to become him. yes, i do plan on growing and becoming even more successful, but i will not lose humility.
Treat your last like your first....STAY HUNGRY.
The same people you see on the way up are the same people you will see on the way down....STAY HUMBLE.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Let's Stay Together
Al Green said it best.."let's stay together, loving you whether times are good or bad, happy or sad". The song has long since been RE-made and RE-mixed, but the message has RE-mained the same. It is simple, regardless of who's wrong or who's right, let's find a way to stay together. Now days, that's easier said than done.
Today, one of my good friends and frat brother posed a question to a few people via email, and it was this, "how do i get my best friend back". it took me a while to digest what he was asking before i responded. but in typical fashion..you know i had an opinion. but the thing was...that topic sparked dialogue in so many other areas that i continue to find myself engaged in with my peers. and the one thing i can conclude is that i'm not the only one who struggles with relationship maintenance.
my response to his question was, "find yourself again". in order to find your best friend, you must first find yourself. as i explained to him, we often lose ourselves in our relationship for one reason or another, then expect that our mate has the initiative to make us happy. this is where the downfall eventually happens, because at some point, sooner or later, resentment sets in because our mate cannot make us as happy as we once made ourselves. so, in short, the key is to find yourself again. regain your Independence (as is blends into your relationship) and get back to completing yourself...making yourself whole again. then and only then can you give anything to someone else. i've been victim of this circumstance more than once. I've foregone my happiness for the sake of compromise to the relationship, only to find myself struggling with who i'm supposed to be. and if i'm struggling with who i am, what the hell do you think i can do for you?
so...back to his question..."how do i get my best friend back". easy. find her best friend. discover who that man used to be. what made him happy to the point where he wanted to share himself with her? what made him complete and what did she see in him that drew her into him. odds are, if you are asking how to get your best friend back...so is your mate.
as i said previously, that topic sparked other dialogue that i've had with friends recently, which leads me to my second thought of the day. if you've followed my blog, you are not surprised that my mind travels A LOT. another reason why relationship maintenance is so hard or at least it has been for me is because of the lack of spiritual foundation. now, before you say, "aw here he go"...hold on. no, i'm not bout to preach. but i am bout to share with you my understanding and hopefully you'll do the same.
spiritual foundations. i've realized that the reason i've not been as successful in my relationships...or one of the reasons (besides being an admitted asshole) is because i've always lacked a spiritual foundation. this is not to say that i didn't know my creator...but my relationship wasn't strong. my faith wasn't sound and i was not humble enough to give my creator credit and accept blame at the same time. some of you may want to read that one more time. i've always been pretty secure in what i thought a man should bring to the table and i've always been certain as to what i've wanted my mate to bring as well. but without a spiritual foundation, those things are material compared to what GOD suggests. now, i/we have an innate ability to carry out GOD's will sometimes...simply because we are his creatures. but if you cannot validate what you are doing with the word and the ways of the creator, then you are setting yourself up for a battle in which you are sure to lose. it may not be today, or tomorrow...but there's always an end to an eventual end. i was a man taking care of my woman via my experiences, not by my understanding of how a man is truly supposed to take care of a woman by the book. and by the book , i refer to the blueprint. so,with this said, the mistakes i've witnessed, i was bout to repeat. the struggles that i experienced, i was bound to encounter. being a creature of habit, this is human nature. and as hard as i've tried....there was always something lacking that i could not put my finger on. now that i'm experiencing a greater spiritual relationship,there's an an epiphany out there with my name on it, that will help guide me to greater success in my physical relationships.
The bottom line is this...a man must provide. under adverse conditions, with no excuses and without praise...he must provide. He has dominion over his wife, family and household and must take this responsibility as serious as anything in life. He will make mistakes. He will fall. He will struggle. But if if his spiritual relationship is strong and his faith is sound, he will persevere and prevail. There is no beginning and no end to "provide" because it is all encompassing. he provides direction, leadership, vision, spiritual foundation, security...you name it. he simply provides.
conversely, the woman also has an all encompassing duty as well. and it is to submit.
oh.....i done struck a nerve!!! seriously though. a woman must submit. she must understand that she is not the head of household, but her role is equally as important and critical to the success of the team. she must have faith that her man has a relationship with his creator that he will lead them toward his will. she must support and submit. regardless of of class, status or wealth...this is her duty. then and only then can they align themselves for success.
if i lost you, the message is this....FIND YOURSELF in order to find your best friend.
lastly, the equation for success is this: i will obey him. you submit to me. i provide for you.
I mighta went a lil too deep for some of you on this one. if so, wait for the book. i'll dumb it down for you.
as always, its been a pleasure. i hope to get feedback from you.
Thanks for following my experience.
Peace.
-Ramont
Today, one of my good friends and frat brother posed a question to a few people via email, and it was this, "how do i get my best friend back". it took me a while to digest what he was asking before i responded. but in typical fashion..you know i had an opinion. but the thing was...that topic sparked dialogue in so many other areas that i continue to find myself engaged in with my peers. and the one thing i can conclude is that i'm not the only one who struggles with relationship maintenance.
my response to his question was, "find yourself again". in order to find your best friend, you must first find yourself. as i explained to him, we often lose ourselves in our relationship for one reason or another, then expect that our mate has the initiative to make us happy. this is where the downfall eventually happens, because at some point, sooner or later, resentment sets in because our mate cannot make us as happy as we once made ourselves. so, in short, the key is to find yourself again. regain your Independence (as is blends into your relationship) and get back to completing yourself...making yourself whole again. then and only then can you give anything to someone else. i've been victim of this circumstance more than once. I've foregone my happiness for the sake of compromise to the relationship, only to find myself struggling with who i'm supposed to be. and if i'm struggling with who i am, what the hell do you think i can do for you?
so...back to his question..."how do i get my best friend back". easy. find her best friend. discover who that man used to be. what made him happy to the point where he wanted to share himself with her? what made him complete and what did she see in him that drew her into him. odds are, if you are asking how to get your best friend back...so is your mate.
as i said previously, that topic sparked other dialogue that i've had with friends recently, which leads me to my second thought of the day. if you've followed my blog, you are not surprised that my mind travels A LOT. another reason why relationship maintenance is so hard or at least it has been for me is because of the lack of spiritual foundation. now, before you say, "aw here he go"...hold on. no, i'm not bout to preach. but i am bout to share with you my understanding and hopefully you'll do the same.
spiritual foundations. i've realized that the reason i've not been as successful in my relationships...or one of the reasons (besides being an admitted asshole) is because i've always lacked a spiritual foundation. this is not to say that i didn't know my creator...but my relationship wasn't strong. my faith wasn't sound and i was not humble enough to give my creator credit and accept blame at the same time. some of you may want to read that one more time. i've always been pretty secure in what i thought a man should bring to the table and i've always been certain as to what i've wanted my mate to bring as well. but without a spiritual foundation, those things are material compared to what GOD suggests. now, i/we have an innate ability to carry out GOD's will sometimes...simply because we are his creatures. but if you cannot validate what you are doing with the word and the ways of the creator, then you are setting yourself up for a battle in which you are sure to lose. it may not be today, or tomorrow...but there's always an end to an eventual end. i was a man taking care of my woman via my experiences, not by my understanding of how a man is truly supposed to take care of a woman by the book. and by the book , i refer to the blueprint. so,with this said, the mistakes i've witnessed, i was bout to repeat. the struggles that i experienced, i was bound to encounter. being a creature of habit, this is human nature. and as hard as i've tried....there was always something lacking that i could not put my finger on. now that i'm experiencing a greater spiritual relationship,there's an an epiphany out there with my name on it, that will help guide me to greater success in my physical relationships.
The bottom line is this...a man must provide. under adverse conditions, with no excuses and without praise...he must provide. He has dominion over his wife, family and household and must take this responsibility as serious as anything in life. He will make mistakes. He will fall. He will struggle. But if if his spiritual relationship is strong and his faith is sound, he will persevere and prevail. There is no beginning and no end to "provide" because it is all encompassing. he provides direction, leadership, vision, spiritual foundation, security...you name it. he simply provides.
conversely, the woman also has an all encompassing duty as well. and it is to submit.
oh.....i done struck a nerve!!! seriously though. a woman must submit. she must understand that she is not the head of household, but her role is equally as important and critical to the success of the team. she must have faith that her man has a relationship with his creator that he will lead them toward his will. she must support and submit. regardless of of class, status or wealth...this is her duty. then and only then can they align themselves for success.
if i lost you, the message is this....FIND YOURSELF in order to find your best friend.
lastly, the equation for success is this: i will obey him. you submit to me. i provide for you.
I mighta went a lil too deep for some of you on this one. if so, wait for the book. i'll dumb it down for you.
as always, its been a pleasure. i hope to get feedback from you.
Thanks for following my experience.
Peace.
-Ramont
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Putting In WORK!
Work is mathematically defined as Force x Distance, where Force = Mass x Acceleration.
As we travel thoughout our daily journey, we encouter tens or hundreads of people doing what they consider to be WORK. A typical punchline to a conversation is often, "aw man, i'm just putting in work", or "man I'm workin my ass off".
However, if you'll notice, every time you talk to that person or see that person they are still at the same job, still at the same position in life or doing the same things as they were when they proclaimed how much "work" they'd been doing.
Every day, I see people in the gym who appear to be "working hard" ...hours upon hours and yet they look the same month after month. They grunt, sweat and do a whole bunch..but they still look the same.
So...with this as the backdrop to my conversation, let's refer back to the equation for work being done.....Force x Distance.
With that being said, the amount of force you impose upon something that will not move itself, multiplied by the distance you travel, will determine how much work you have done. So...for the people that we encounter at work and the gym, who claim to be working....and remain at the same status, are they working based upon the definition of the term? Definately NOT.
If you do not exert sufficient mental or physical force, you cannot expect to travel a substantial distance in whatever endeavor you embark upon. Period. Mathematically, there's no way to advance without WORK being done.
Its time we put in work! Let's decide to move forward! And the only way to do that is to mentally or physically exert a force greater than the object being worked upon.
Example: as a barber or stylist you can cut hair or put in relaxers and do a million things...but you cannot consider yourself having worked unless you can quantify a distance traveled. Without that, you are just performing an undefined range of tasks day in and day out, without a measure of success. In this profession, the object(s) being worked upon are greater customer service and increased clientele. If your service has not gotten better or if your clientele has not grown, mathmatically you have not put in WORK. You have merely exerted energy by performing a ritual of tasks without purpose! Work is associated with terms like "hard" and "labor". The result of work is associated with terms like "success" and "fruitful".
You have to endure hard labor, whether it be mentally or physically, in order to reap the fruits of success!
There are a ton of people out there exerting energy and performing tasks... but there are very few people out there actually WORKING!
If you work out, look around you...notice who's body looks better in the gym. At the salon, look who's career is advancing by increased clientle or better customer service. Those are the people who's WORK has proven to be sufficient. They have traveled a measurable distance by exerting a greater force upon an object that was content to remain in its position. Again...if you look at your object as increased clientele, you know that it won't grow by itself. therefore, something has to be done in order for it to grow..or in this case, MOVE.
Look at yourself...look in the mirror and honestly assess wheather you are WORKING or exerting energy. Draw a line where you are today and the amount of force that you have done in order to get where u are. If u ar happy with that, kudos to you. (If so don't tell anyone that).
But if you are not, its time to exert more force...its tome to extend your focus, identify your purposes and challenge your determination in order to MOVE a substantial distance. It starts by doing things differntly tommorrow than u did yesterday. In order to get different results you have to do different things. To get something you've never had, you must do things that you've never done.
Whether it be getting sexy in the gym, advancing in your career or having a better relationship with your spouse, you have to be wiling to put in WORK!
Without it, you are stuck exerting energy, performing meaningless routine tasks, until you eventually get burned out.
As a community of people...we need to decide to put in WORK collectivly in order to advance ourselves a substantial amount. We cannot and will not advance (move) without forcing our will upon an object which is designed to remain static, meaning..it cannot move itself.
Let's get to WORK!
As we travel thoughout our daily journey, we encouter tens or hundreads of people doing what they consider to be WORK. A typical punchline to a conversation is often, "aw man, i'm just putting in work", or "man I'm workin my ass off".
However, if you'll notice, every time you talk to that person or see that person they are still at the same job, still at the same position in life or doing the same things as they were when they proclaimed how much "work" they'd been doing.
Every day, I see people in the gym who appear to be "working hard" ...hours upon hours and yet they look the same month after month. They grunt, sweat and do a whole bunch..but they still look the same.
So...with this as the backdrop to my conversation, let's refer back to the equation for work being done.....Force x Distance.
With that being said, the amount of force you impose upon something that will not move itself, multiplied by the distance you travel, will determine how much work you have done. So...for the people that we encounter at work and the gym, who claim to be working....and remain at the same status, are they working based upon the definition of the term? Definately NOT.
If you do not exert sufficient mental or physical force, you cannot expect to travel a substantial distance in whatever endeavor you embark upon. Period. Mathematically, there's no way to advance without WORK being done.
Its time we put in work! Let's decide to move forward! And the only way to do that is to mentally or physically exert a force greater than the object being worked upon.
Example: as a barber or stylist you can cut hair or put in relaxers and do a million things...but you cannot consider yourself having worked unless you can quantify a distance traveled. Without that, you are just performing an undefined range of tasks day in and day out, without a measure of success. In this profession, the object(s) being worked upon are greater customer service and increased clientele. If your service has not gotten better or if your clientele has not grown, mathmatically you have not put in WORK. You have merely exerted energy by performing a ritual of tasks without purpose! Work is associated with terms like "hard" and "labor". The result of work is associated with terms like "success" and "fruitful".
You have to endure hard labor, whether it be mentally or physically, in order to reap the fruits of success!
There are a ton of people out there exerting energy and performing tasks... but there are very few people out there actually WORKING!
If you work out, look around you...notice who's body looks better in the gym. At the salon, look who's career is advancing by increased clientle or better customer service. Those are the people who's WORK has proven to be sufficient. They have traveled a measurable distance by exerting a greater force upon an object that was content to remain in its position. Again...if you look at your object as increased clientele, you know that it won't grow by itself. therefore, something has to be done in order for it to grow..or in this case, MOVE.
Look at yourself...look in the mirror and honestly assess wheather you are WORKING or exerting energy. Draw a line where you are today and the amount of force that you have done in order to get where u are. If u ar happy with that, kudos to you. (If so don't tell anyone that).
But if you are not, its time to exert more force...its tome to extend your focus, identify your purposes and challenge your determination in order to MOVE a substantial distance. It starts by doing things differntly tommorrow than u did yesterday. In order to get different results you have to do different things. To get something you've never had, you must do things that you've never done.
Whether it be getting sexy in the gym, advancing in your career or having a better relationship with your spouse, you have to be wiling to put in WORK!
Without it, you are stuck exerting energy, performing meaningless routine tasks, until you eventually get burned out.
As a community of people...we need to decide to put in WORK collectivly in order to advance ourselves a substantial amount. We cannot and will not advance (move) without forcing our will upon an object which is designed to remain static, meaning..it cannot move itself.
Let's get to WORK!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
CHAMPIONSHIP SWAGGER
Now, we're cooking wit grease, dangit! My last blog brought some emotions out in folks...brought some real feelings out. That's what i'm talkin bout!! Let's get it! Hell, i even got a call from Momz. MOMZ! Now that really let me know that i zeroed in on some real feelings. I feel like when Jay-Z's mom called him and told him that Super Ugly was not appropriate..that it was not right for him to say the things about Nas that he did. And with class, he admitted that when his moms said that..he backed off the beef. So, with that said...Momz...i hear you. I'll back off. I know i can be an explosion waiting to happen sometimes, but hey...that's what you get with me. a perfect imbalance!
Anyway, today's topic is Champioship Swagger. I had such an "inconsistent *** day" yesterday and it really got to me. Sometimes my load can feel like too much to carry and one thing can cause things to topple over. Mostly because i'm so tempermental and i have a hard time isolating incidents sometimes. I'll let one thing run over into something else...and before i know it, i've snowballed into a phucked up day. this was the case yesterday.
But today...I woke up with a totally different attitude. I got my Championship Swagger back. I was talking to my barber (what up Ram) today about some real stuff (we get on some deep isht sometimes) and i kinda had a personal epiphany. Not that this hadn't been tried and true...but as it pertains to me...it finally made sense. As I was going through my pledge process, one of my prophytes said to me, "its easier to become a bruh, than it is to be a bruh". i recall thinking, "shyyyyt...once i become a bruh, aint nobody puttin they hands on me...can't be harder." but in the years that i've been active, i've learned that he was pin point accurate. to become a bruh meant to prove worthy of membership. a pre-determined process that has a start date and an end date. regardless of how long, it will come to an end. one can mentally prepare to fight that battle. but once i became a bruh...there is NO END. that means maintaining the discipline, the focus and living by my cardinal principles each and every day of my life. That requires a life long commitment...unlike a pre-determined process with an ending. Then, i put that theory to the test in other areas of life, sports and business. and that's when i got the epiphany for "Championship Swagger".
As with pledging...i am finding that it was much, much easier to build Supreme Clientele and create a standard of excellence that people can identify with, than it is to maintain the vision of Supreme Clientele and a standard of excellence that people have come to expect. Let me say it again...easy to build, hard to maintain. Once i build Supreme Clientele, i was like, "hell yeah...i'm a Champion". i felt like i'd accomplished something that many people aspire to do but have not or simply cannot. I felt like Ali when he won the title..."i'm young, i'm pretty and i don't have a mark on my face..i MUST be the Greatest". I felt like i had this champion thing down to a science real quick...and seemingly effortlessly. But then, the reality of being a champion set it...NOW, i'm the hunted. I'm in the spotlight. My moves are critiqued. My haters come in droves and the consequence of my actions carry more weight than ever before. My ability to make good business decisions directly affect 13 people's ability to provide for their families. That's real talk. On top of that....people's expectations of me get higher with the passing of each day because i set the bar so high from the get green. A common mistake made by me is a blunder of tremendous proportions...simply because i'm the champion...self proclaimed, locally accepted and internationally known! So, now i'm seeing that from a championship standpoint..it was much easier to become the champ...as Ali proved when he KO'd Liston, than it is to REMAIN the champion...as he later learned through trials with the GUB'ment, Frazier, Holmes and Spinks. When you are trying to become the champion, you got everybody backing you...wanting to see something new..wanting to be apart of your journey. but when you are the champion, the same people who were backing you, are now on our damn back and waiting to see you fail. either to make themselves look better or just to prove that you aren't as special as you thought you were. There's more to being a champion than carrying the belt. you have to defend your title from up and coming cats....you gotta present yourself in a manner that represents a champion, because all that you say and do make headlines. that is why one must posess a CHAMPIONSHIP SWAGGER! its not something that you can get in the gym by working out. its ont something that you can learn by reading a book, nor is it something that someone can teach you. its something that comes from within that says, "not me..not to day...not any day". its a constant desire to be the best...not just better than your competition...but better than you were yesterday. See..champions fight themselves before they fight anyone else. I spar with myself because my shadow is the greatest competition out there. If I can become a greater version of self every day...defeating my shadow...then when i get into the ring with someone else...i've already won. The championship swagger exudes the confidence that others don't understand...and an arrogance that others find attractive. Not, i'm better than you..but "i'm better than I was yesterday...and i was a champion yesterday". The Championship Swagger forces you into the gym early and keeps you there late....it brings forth new ideas when others are content with following your last move. The championship swagger allows you to stick your lip out for a second and moan about what the world is doing to you, then it says, "run faster, punch harder, jump higher". Its a dogmatic approach to life where nothing is impossible even on a bad day. That's the championship swagger! Knowing that its harder to remain the champ than it was to become the champ.
Any lucky person can find themselves in the winners circle from time to time. But not just anyone can remain there. it takes discipline. hard work. dedication and a desire greater than your competition. there are no days off. there are no rainy days and there aren't any sick days. champions are not made in the ring...they are created in the gym!
I am a champion and I have the Championship Swagger!
Come get it!
As always, thanks for tunning in. Stay connected with me as i'm getting great feedback from my followers.
Peace,
-Ramont.
Anyway, today's topic is Champioship Swagger. I had such an "inconsistent *** day" yesterday and it really got to me. Sometimes my load can feel like too much to carry and one thing can cause things to topple over. Mostly because i'm so tempermental and i have a hard time isolating incidents sometimes. I'll let one thing run over into something else...and before i know it, i've snowballed into a phucked up day. this was the case yesterday.
But today...I woke up with a totally different attitude. I got my Championship Swagger back. I was talking to my barber (what up Ram) today about some real stuff (we get on some deep isht sometimes) and i kinda had a personal epiphany. Not that this hadn't been tried and true...but as it pertains to me...it finally made sense. As I was going through my pledge process, one of my prophytes said to me, "its easier to become a bruh, than it is to be a bruh". i recall thinking, "shyyyyt...once i become a bruh, aint nobody puttin they hands on me...can't be harder." but in the years that i've been active, i've learned that he was pin point accurate. to become a bruh meant to prove worthy of membership. a pre-determined process that has a start date and an end date. regardless of how long, it will come to an end. one can mentally prepare to fight that battle. but once i became a bruh...there is NO END. that means maintaining the discipline, the focus and living by my cardinal principles each and every day of my life. That requires a life long commitment...unlike a pre-determined process with an ending. Then, i put that theory to the test in other areas of life, sports and business. and that's when i got the epiphany for "Championship Swagger".
As with pledging...i am finding that it was much, much easier to build Supreme Clientele and create a standard of excellence that people can identify with, than it is to maintain the vision of Supreme Clientele and a standard of excellence that people have come to expect. Let me say it again...easy to build, hard to maintain. Once i build Supreme Clientele, i was like, "hell yeah...i'm a Champion". i felt like i'd accomplished something that many people aspire to do but have not or simply cannot. I felt like Ali when he won the title..."i'm young, i'm pretty and i don't have a mark on my face..i MUST be the Greatest". I felt like i had this champion thing down to a science real quick...and seemingly effortlessly. But then, the reality of being a champion set it...NOW, i'm the hunted. I'm in the spotlight. My moves are critiqued. My haters come in droves and the consequence of my actions carry more weight than ever before. My ability to make good business decisions directly affect 13 people's ability to provide for their families. That's real talk. On top of that....people's expectations of me get higher with the passing of each day because i set the bar so high from the get green. A common mistake made by me is a blunder of tremendous proportions...simply because i'm the champion...self proclaimed, locally accepted and internationally known! So, now i'm seeing that from a championship standpoint..it was much easier to become the champ...as Ali proved when he KO'd Liston, than it is to REMAIN the champion...as he later learned through trials with the GUB'ment, Frazier, Holmes and Spinks. When you are trying to become the champion, you got everybody backing you...wanting to see something new..wanting to be apart of your journey. but when you are the champion, the same people who were backing you, are now on our damn back and waiting to see you fail. either to make themselves look better or just to prove that you aren't as special as you thought you were. There's more to being a champion than carrying the belt. you have to defend your title from up and coming cats....you gotta present yourself in a manner that represents a champion, because all that you say and do make headlines. that is why one must posess a CHAMPIONSHIP SWAGGER! its not something that you can get in the gym by working out. its ont something that you can learn by reading a book, nor is it something that someone can teach you. its something that comes from within that says, "not me..not to day...not any day". its a constant desire to be the best...not just better than your competition...but better than you were yesterday. See..champions fight themselves before they fight anyone else. I spar with myself because my shadow is the greatest competition out there. If I can become a greater version of self every day...defeating my shadow...then when i get into the ring with someone else...i've already won. The championship swagger exudes the confidence that others don't understand...and an arrogance that others find attractive. Not, i'm better than you..but "i'm better than I was yesterday...and i was a champion yesterday". The Championship Swagger forces you into the gym early and keeps you there late....it brings forth new ideas when others are content with following your last move. The championship swagger allows you to stick your lip out for a second and moan about what the world is doing to you, then it says, "run faster, punch harder, jump higher". Its a dogmatic approach to life where nothing is impossible even on a bad day. That's the championship swagger! Knowing that its harder to remain the champ than it was to become the champ.
Any lucky person can find themselves in the winners circle from time to time. But not just anyone can remain there. it takes discipline. hard work. dedication and a desire greater than your competition. there are no days off. there are no rainy days and there aren't any sick days. champions are not made in the ring...they are created in the gym!
I am a champion and I have the Championship Swagger!
Come get it!
As always, thanks for tunning in. Stay connected with me as i'm getting great feedback from my followers.
Peace,
-Ramont.
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