Let's Stay Together

Al Green said it best.."let's stay together, loving you whether times are good or bad, happy or sad". The song has long since been RE-made and RE-mixed, but the message has RE-mained the same. It is simple, regardless of who's wrong or who's right, let's find a way to stay together. Now days, that's easier said than done.

Today, one of my good friends and frat brother posed a question to a few people via email, and it was this, "how do i get my best friend back". it took me a while to digest what he was asking before i responded. but in typical fashion..you know i had an opinion. but the thing was...that topic sparked dialogue in so many other areas that i continue to find myself engaged in with my peers. and the one thing i can conclude is that i'm not the only one who struggles with relationship maintenance.



my response to his question was, "find yourself again". in order to find your best friend, you must first find yourself. as i explained to him, we often lose ourselves in our relationship for one reason or another, then expect that our mate has the initiative to make us happy. this is where the downfall eventually happens, because at some point, sooner or later, resentment sets in because our mate cannot make us as happy as we once made ourselves. so, in short, the key is to find yourself again. regain your Independence (as is blends into your relationship) and get back to completing yourself...making yourself whole again. then and only then can you give anything to someone else. i've been victim of this circumstance more than once. I've foregone my happiness for the sake of compromise to the relationship, only to find myself struggling with who i'm supposed to be. and if i'm struggling with who i am, what the hell do you think i can do for you?

so...back to his question..."how do i get my best friend back". easy. find her best friend. discover who that man used to be. what made him happy to the point where he wanted to share himself with her? what made him complete and what did she see in him that drew her into him. odds are, if you are asking how to get your best friend back...so is your mate.



as i said previously, that topic sparked other dialogue that i've had with friends recently, which leads me to my second thought of the day. if you've followed my blog, you are not surprised that my mind travels A LOT. another reason why relationship maintenance is so hard or at least it has been for me is because of the lack of spiritual foundation. now, before you say, "aw here he go"...hold on. no, i'm not bout to preach. but i am bout to share with you my understanding and hopefully you'll do the same.

spiritual foundations. i've realized that the reason i've not been as successful in my relationships...or one of the reasons (besides being an admitted asshole) is because i've always lacked a spiritual foundation. this is not to say that i didn't know my creator...but my relationship wasn't strong. my faith wasn't sound and i was not humble enough to give my creator credit and accept blame at the same time. some of you may want to read that one more time. i've always been pretty secure in what i thought a man should bring to the table and i've always been certain as to what i've wanted my mate to bring as well. but without a spiritual foundation, those things are material compared to what GOD suggests. now, i/we have an innate ability to carry out GOD's will sometimes...simply because we are his creatures. but if you cannot validate what you are doing with the word and the ways of the creator, then you are setting yourself up for a battle in which you are sure to lose. it may not be today, or tomorrow...but there's always an end to an eventual end. i was a man taking care of my woman via my experiences, not by my understanding of how a man is truly supposed to take care of a woman by the book. and by the book , i refer to the blueprint. so,with this said, the mistakes i've witnessed, i was bout to repeat. the struggles that i experienced, i was bound to encounter. being a creature of habit, this is human nature. and as hard as i've tried....there was always something lacking that i could not put my finger on. now that i'm experiencing a greater spiritual relationship,there's an an epiphany out there with my name on it, that will help guide me to greater success in my physical relationships.



The bottom line is this...a man must provide. under adverse conditions, with no excuses and without praise...he must provide. He has dominion over his wife, family and household and must take this responsibility as serious as anything in life. He will make mistakes. He will fall. He will struggle. But if if his spiritual relationship is strong and his faith is sound, he will persevere and prevail. There is no beginning and no end to "provide" because it is all encompassing. he provides direction, leadership, vision, spiritual foundation, security...you name it. he simply provides.

conversely, the woman also has an all encompassing duty as well. and it is to submit.

oh.....i done struck a nerve!!! seriously though. a woman must submit. she must understand that she is not the head of household, but her role is equally as important and critical to the success of the team. she must have faith that her man has a relationship with his creator that he will lead them toward his will. she must support and submit. regardless of of class, status or wealth...this is her duty. then and only then can they align themselves for success.



if i lost you, the message is this....FIND YOURSELF in order to find your best friend.



lastly, the equation for success is this: i will obey him. you submit to me. i provide for you.





I mighta went a lil too deep for some of you on this one. if so, wait for the book. i'll dumb it down for you.



as always, its been a pleasure. i hope to get feedback from you.

Thanks for following my experience.



Peace.

-Ramont